he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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