We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
