Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
