Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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