First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
