You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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