I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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