you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
