Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
