there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I intend to get homeless drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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