If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
