Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
