Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
