Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My pussy is not your playground.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.