So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.