We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online