Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
