Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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