There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
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I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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