She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
