Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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