she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize