I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
pray to the hookup gods
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
