I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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