Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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