i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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