was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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