No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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