matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
