it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
