those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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