And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
