YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
