I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
