there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize