I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
