I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
