i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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