My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
