I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
