she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
be right there i have to get my cape
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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