he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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