btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
