there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
