Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
