did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
