White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
