you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
