It's Friday. Sex?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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