I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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