Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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