If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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