his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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