That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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