I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
