Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
