a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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