i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
