She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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