Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
