we made out on top of his cat.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
