Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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