Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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