And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize