Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
